So often we see the television shows and movies about the "crazy" brides. You know the ones -- screaming, punching, throwing things or down right crying that nothing is going right. We all laugh and certainly say we will never be one of them. Though this is a little exaggerated, there are brides in real life that behave this exact way. They want the perfect wedding and by wanting it so bad they ultimately set themselves up to have what I refer to as a Bridal Breakdown.
The Bridal Breakdown Basics
Bridal breakdowns are where a bride finds that she is not happy with anything. Any aspect of the wedding, even when it is going according to plan, will not satisfy her. Everything must be perfect. These types of brides also tend to want a dream wedding and financially or physically cannot obtain it. Though every girl wants that grand and gorgeous wedding, they may not actually get what they are hoping for. That is with anything in life, but for some reasons weddings really showcase this. Sure you want to drive a Mercedes, but sometimes all you can afford is a Honda. You know what? Hondas are not too shabby and they sure are a lot lighter on the pocket book. So what is my advice to brides?
Be Realistic
In todays economy everyone is buckling down. So is the wedding industry. Wedding vendors are raising their prices to afford supplies and engaged couples are shopping around for the best deal. As a bride, you need to be realistic about what you can and cannot have at the wedding. More so you need to accept it. That is easier said than done, but even though you want that grand wedding, sometimes you must accept that you cannot afford to pay for that yourself and your parents may not either. Trust me, your parents want you to have that grand wedding too. Nothing is more painful on the parents of a bride, than knowing they cannot give her the ultimate wedding.
Just to help put it in perspective, the average grand catering job costs $25 to $40 per person (so a 100 person wedding just cost you $4,000 and that doesn't include catering tips, rentals and service fees...which are additional). The average grand wedding cake costs over $1,000. The average grand wedding dress is easily $8,000 to $10,000. The average grand floral arrangements cost at least $1,000. That's totaling already $15,000 minimum and we have not covered even an eighth of what you have to purchase for a wedding.
Be Crafty
If you want that perfect wedding, you need to find ways to save. Rather than real flowers, use fake flowers. Sure that is not the same, but the savings alone are more than worth it. Use that savings to put towards catering, a better venue or that dream gown. There are always places to make cuts to afford what you want. Rather than spend hundreds of dollars on decorations, ask yourself how many of those decorations you and a few friends can tackle on and make yourself. I promise you that about 30 to 40 percent of all wedding decorations can be made for half the price on your own. Now you have just freed up more funds. See the point?
Be Positive
No matter what, carry a positive attitude. Even if you are downright upset, depressed or feeling negative, fake the positive attitude. Positive attitudes will help you get what you want out of vendors. Vendors are more forthcoming and helpful when they are dealing with a positive bride. After all, would you go out of your way to help someone who is constantly negative and/or bitter? The more you bring a positive attitude to the planning, the more you will notice that you are actually thinking positively about something you once thought as negative. Its basic psychology and it works.
Be There for the Moment
The bottom line, is a wedding is not about how many guests you invite, how many tiers your wedding cake is or how much crystal is present at the reception. A wedding is about two people who have decided to dedicate their love for one another and want to be together for the rest of their lives. That is a beautiful thing. That is something so meaningful and such a special moment that you want to remember. Don't remember the wedding planning as a negative thing or that the wedding wasn't how you wanted it. After all, you wanted to marry that person didn't you? Then that is all that matters. You got what you wanted...the person you want to spend the rest of your life with.
How to Handle It All
Now I am well aware that wedding planning is a stressful task. One thing that you need to remember is to give yourself time, but also take time AWAY from the planning. Do not let it consume you. Go to bed at night not thinking about all that is left or how you are not getting what you want, but think about how excited you are to be getting married. If you need to scream (which is completely normal) do it in a private room, into your pillow or just about any secluded way you can find. Do not take it out on wedding vendors, your fiance, friends or family. This is not for their benefit, it is for yours. You do not want to look back or regret letting people have it that did not deserve it.
